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Webneck: The Fragmented Identity
Webneck: The Fragmented Identity

As a web developer and a hunter I find myself taking on two contrasting identities and, often times, bouncing back and forth between the two.  When I?m with my co-workers I?m the ?web guy? with a country accent and when I?m with my hunting buddies I?m ?the guy who spends too much time up in city working on computers?(which is not really workin)?!  You may be just like me, the guy who makes the commute to work in the city and returns back south chasing deer, turkeys, and anything that will bite a hook on the weekends.  If you are, then you'll be able to empathize with my sentiments that follow.  Accordingly, no matter on which end I find myself, I end up receiving a hard time from both my fellow hunters and co-workers.  Though, I?ve come to appreciate both sides (and the hard time that they give me). 

To help me illustrate what I?m describing a little, let me tell you a story about one of my friends from the city.  I frequently find myself talking people from Charlotte into coming down to Pageland and ?letting their hair down?.  (My dad says I ought to work on the Pageland Chamber of Commerce).  I have a friend who is a New Yorker that now lives in Charlotte and I talked him into coming down to the country for a day.  I took him fishing and we spent a few hours on the pond and really didn?t catch much.  Towards the end of the trip I asked him what he thought about fishing.  His response kind of caught me off guard.  I expected him to be critical of my guiding abilities and to talk smack to me.  Instead he replied saying that he really enjoyed fishing.  I thought he was being sarcastic and I asked him why and he responded ?Do you hear the birds? and I said ?yes?.  Then he noted to me that he never hears the birds where he lives in the city.  He went on saying how he didn?t know of any pond that he could go fishing in that was close to Charlotte.  He commented on how he really enjoyed the peacefulness of just floating on a pond simply because it wasn?t something he gets to do often and that it was relaxing to him. 

Earlier that same day I had taken him out to a shooting range and it was his first time shooting a rifle, shotgun, and pistol.  He actually hit the bull?s-eye on his first shot with the rifle, but it did bloody up his brow a little.  He was even able to hit some skeet as well.  He did go home with a nasty bruise on his shoulder too.  Thinking he would talk junk to me about his shooting experience, I asked him how he felt about shooting and he responded that he really enjoyed it as well.  He spoke of shooting the rifle and the immense moment of silence right before he pulled the trigger.  He talked about the power and intensity that is packed into those few seconds of silence and yet how he didn?t even hear the gun go off.  Yes, he learned and had a new appreciation.  He thanked me for bringing him to shoot and for allowing him to get a new perspective on guns.  He even took the target with the hole in the bulls-eye back to his house to show off! 

From my friends responses it appeared that the moments he experienced "out of his element" were invaluable to him and helped him gain perspective.  I believe this is the case because lessons learned when you find yourself seemingly out of your element and somewhat vulnerable offer the most room to grow.  The things that hunters find commonplace were new learning experiences and good memories for my friend.  He was open to coming down and, as any country boy would do, we tried to get him ?countrified? as much as possible... and it was fine by him.  His normal identity is that of a city boy (who at first holds a gun on his shoulder as if it were a surface to air missile launcher).  By coming down and living the life of a country boy for a day, he learned and benefitted from real-world experiences that derived knowledge that you can?t get from a book.

My friend found himself in the middle of a day that was outside of his normal environment.  As I thought about his experience and how he was so grateful and appreciative, I reflected on my own life and realized that my ?normal? is being caught in between these two environments.  Going back and forth between the identities is my "normal" and I?ve learned to appreciate it.  I like to, how do they say, ?get in where I fit in? and that?s about all anyone can do.  Though, to ?fit-in? in the contrasting environments takes a little vulnerability and openness with the end goal being to learn about the other side and yes, to learn about one?s self.

Not surprisingly, one?s identity is directly linked to what they do and the activities in which they are engaged.  I'm engaged in more than one activity which leaves me actualizing multiple identitities. Though, it is only from the perspective of the fragmented identity (i.e. living the experiences of both worlds) that I am able to draw a true appreciation and understanding for both sides.   Because I?m not always in the city, I appreciate certain aspects of a city life such as being able to go somewhere where nobody knows me, or the ability to get to almost any type of store relatively quickly, or being able to work with an organization that has a large scale web site who can offer me employment.  On the flip side, because I?m not always in the country, I appreciate going to a restaurant and knowing the locals, or the winding country roads that are free of major traffic jams, being able to get out in the woods and work with my hands...and, as my friend said, to hear nature around me.  The fragmented identity sharply brings into focus the advantages and disadvantages of both sides, allows me to see if and when the two converge, and in doing so brings on diversity and broader horizons.   Had I never spent a good deal of time in the city, I wouldn't appreciate the country...and vice versa. 

It's not too bad being a ?webneck?.

Regards,

Clint

 


Clint Patterson

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